the Heart Approaches What It Yearns

Hope your holidays were fun. Ours were, too. I guess I got spoiled by mine. I’ll enumerate all my loot later. But first….

Sometimes I wish he would just spank me and be done with it.

Tuesday night I was trying to get all three boys cleaned, dried, brushed, and pajamaed by bedtime, and they were goofy and gabbly. Then Littlest Boy unceremoniously filled his diaper, so in order to keep the peace I had the two bigger boys separate and stay in their rooms on their beds while I took Littlest Boy and changed him. While I was doing that, Monsieur went upstairs and found the two bigger boys in various degrees of readiness for bed, five minutes before bedtime. They got scolded, and when I came upstairs, so did I.

I could have defended myself better, I could have said that I was trying to keep the mayhem down to a minimum while Littlest Boy was being changed, but I just lowered my eyes and apologized.

“You can not let them take advantage of you like that,” Monsieur said.

“I’m sorry, Monsieur,” I said softly.

“Bedtime is at 8:00 for a reason,” he continued.

“Yes, Monsieur.”

“Get their teeth cleaned and then lights are to be out.”

“Yes, Monsieur.”

I did, and Monsieur helped. The boys were cooperative from then on; I suspect that there was a certain amount of guilt on their part that I was in trouble. I tucked everyone in, turned out lights, and went into my old room to undress to shower. I wasn’t going to go downstairs again for the rest of the night – I was mortified and resentful.

Grumble. Maybe the semen had backed up into his brain and it makes him grumpy, I thought.

Whatever. I slept upstairs.