the Heart Approaches What It Yearns

Hajib, by Harriet Jameson Pellizzari

Each kinda alluring in it’s own way…

I notice that Monsieur pays more attention to me when I don’t dress all “skimpy/sexy”. Anyone else ever notice this? When I wear a baby doll or chemise he doesn’t really look at me so much, but in flannel pajamas or a long nightgown, he always gives me a hug or the goodbye kisses last a little longer.

I asked him about that last night. “You don’t like my chemise?”

“Of course, I do,” he said.

“Why don’t you ever touch me when I wear it?”

He told me, in effect, that I was “imagining things.”

I wonder if he thinks I’m too skinny or flat-chested or something. I wonder if I’m really his type. I mean, he gives it to me good and hard when he gives it to me – so I know he likes girls! Maybe it’s my body. Maybe these moles on my tummy turn him off. I don’t know.

I know when he was younger and touring around the world he knew a lot of Muslim women – although he doesn’t say so, I know he was doing them, at least some of them. Maybe I should veil myself by wearing a niqab once in a while.

I think I’m not alone in thinking that the veil is somewhat sexy. Don’t get me wrong; I am not in favor of forcing women or anyone else to completely cover the body. I know there are plenty of people debating this – I’ve talked to Muslim women who find it liberating not to have their face and bodies on display for others. I don’t think I’m all that but I like wearing t-shirts and jeans. Then I some pretty pair of eyes behind a thin dark veil and I think … Hmm. I could look like that – but only in private for Monsieur. Isn’t that a weird thing? The hajib is supposed to, among other things, keep men from staring and to keep women from being stared at but I think I’d be too self-conscious – like people would stare at me.

I doubt that Monsieur would find it all that appealing. I’ll stick with my flannel jammies or long nightgown, I guess.

Or I could just bend over on the bed and wiggle the booty at him. Not much of a booty as far as they go but from what I hear, it’s all in the wiggle.